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I usually cum inside my mom or aunt in hopes I get them pregnant. I want to cum in side your mom too. Plus, no mess unless your dick is bigger than your thigh to knee area. This way works best with virtual sex porn. I oftn jerk ino women underwear I find a office training facility — at womens dress room. Late evenings I find underwear I jerk off at home. I got 4 kids. Np more coming. My girl wants me to shoot massive loads on her face, first and ass.

I want to learn to blow huge loads. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. Currently you have JavaScript disabled. In order to post comments, please make sure JavaScript and Cookies are enabled, and reload the page. Click here for instructions on how to enable JavaScript in your browser. Next post: Jerk Off in Public? This site rocks the Classic Responsive Skin for Thesis. WP Admin. You just wrap your right hand around your dick and began stroking until you come!

Why choose between your left and right hand? Use both! Using both your left and right hand gives you the sensational benefits of both — at the same time. You can also play with your balls, perineum area between your balls and anus and maybe your anus for even greater pleasure.

Here are some common things: Sheets — you can choose cotton, silk or whatever material feels best. Experiment and find what works for you. Underwear — just like with sheets, choose a material that feels best and start rubbing with your underwear still on! Another person — rubbing against another person, clothed or unclothed, can be a very exciting experience. Just make sure that the other person knows that you intend to climax by rubbing on them. Slick There is definitely a difference between ways to jerk off using lube versus doing it dry.

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Steve on Jerk Off in Public? The porcine groin bouquet is a bit sweet and a bit musky -- kind of like what you might expect from a corpse, or a Kardashian when no cameras are around. I can't recommend it. Fleshlight has apparently sold over seven million units worldwide. There's a reason Fleshlight hasn't hired me as an ad man. That aside, the inside of a Fleshlight is soft, squishy, and textured with various nubs, swirls, and ridges.

The basic goal of a Fleshlight was to make a vagina into a handheld device; an idea that will get exponentially creepier the more time you devote to thinking about it. Fleshlight It's like if Ed Gein got into porn and collected just one body part. Patented in , the Fleshlight was the answer to the warm meat conundrum: How can I rub my chub in a way that is more exotic and satisfying than using my hand, but will not leave a slime trail of salmonella bacteria on my sack?

Many people claim the Fleshlight is even better than the real thing, at which point we're left to consider whether by "real thing" they mean their hand -- which of course they don't mean -- or an actual human vagina -- which, sadly, they do mean. The existential sadness of anyone claiming that a disembodied rubber vag-sleeve is better than having sex with another person is something no Cracked columnist can dare take on without some serious alcohol to fuel the poetic ennui that will follow.

I refuse the challenge, because I have masters to bate and a soul that still glows a little when you say nice things to it. Maybe one day, if I ever willingly take a nap on a back alley mattress and start agreeing with things Donald Trump says, I'll be able to revisit this idea, but until then, no. No sir. Now, this isn't to say a Fleshlight is an unpleasant experience. If you have the chance, you go ahead and pork that little rubber fun hole. It's not bad at all. I would argue that a Fleshlight is to sex what Taco Bell is to a Mexican banquet.

It's not really in the ballpark, and sure, some snotty people who think they're better than you will make fun of it. But you know what? When you're drunk at 2 a. The major downside to the Fleshlight is that it's a lot like manual labor. Masturbating with your hand affords you that flesh-to-flesh connection. It's not work; it's personal grooming. You're cleaning your pipes. But the Fleshlight in hand makes it a bit more like mixing a never-ending martini that you can't drink -- and instead of an olive, you're garnishing it with man nectar that you need to hose out the end of a length of flopping, disembodied, pseudo-vaginal canal.

Gritty Woman At which point, your only hope is to become turned on by tapeworms. I want you to put on your 3D glasses, hop on your hoverboard, and start eating astronaut ice cream, because the future of tugging on your tuber is now. The Autoblow 2 is the most advanced form of wanking mankind has to offer. After this, we can only design robot arms with gentle-yet-firm jacking motions.

And you know after the preliminary trials, the whole project is going to be set back when one goes haywire and yanks some volunteer's dick off with such force that it gets javelined across a room and embedded in a brick wall.

The Autoblow takes the basic premise of a Fleshlight -- a fake, semi-realistic vagina with a tail -- and adds a new dimension of awesome that the old Fleshlight failed miserably at achieving. This dimension is, of course, autonomy. You can read a damn book while this thing grinds your organ. You'll probably need to balance it between your thighs a little, or wedge it slightly between yourself and a pillow.

But with only a little effort, you're doing your taxes, you're eating pudding, you're braiding your hair, whatever. Sky's the limit. Letsgasm Be mindful of which pudding you eat, however. The clear upside of the Autoblow is that it finally takes masturbation out of your hands. You just have to be comfortable with a Donkey Kong-esque barrel on your junk. It has variable speeds as well, so you can go from lazy Quaalude mumble-munch to Furious 7 Vin Diesel power gulp. The downside to the Autoblow, depending on how you feel about noise, is that it sounds like you're being blown by the factory from the end The Terminator.

Just a cacophony of churning, rumbling gears, and actuators slouching along towards Jizzrael. Orion Pictures "Live with me if you want to cum. The other issue here is one of balance. The Autoblow's big selling point is that it saves you the dreaded carpal tunnel and wrist stress of all compulsive masturbators before you, but it's still not entirely hands-free. It's got girth -- it's like you're trying to fuck a two-liter bottle of root beer that's really into it -- but you either have to hold it up or, as I said, find some way to balance it.

Or as a last ditch effort, you need to stand and place it at wang level with something to weigh it down and just be there, in the moment. A dude with his dick in a blowie machine. Has technology improved the wank? Have our advances in texturized rubbers improved our alone time?

Is the handjob your grandfather's handjob? After thorough consideration, weighing all pros and cons, I have to conclude that traditional, you-and-your-dirty-kielbasa-claw masturbation is still the best form. Ease of use.

It's as simple as that. Sure, the Autoblow is an impressive sensation, but can you do that on an elevator with a hole cut in the pocket of your dress pants without anyone else noticing? Not at all. Are you taking a few minutes out of your workday to "go to the bathroom" and bringing a Fleshlight? Do you dare smuggle a ham sandwich into a movie theater?

Steve Jobs. Fact is, your hand belongs on your arm, so no one is ever suspicious when you have it. You never need to plan to bring it anywhere, and you never need to hide it or prepare it or sanitize it and put it away when you're done. These other methods are like those kitchen gadgets they advertise in infomercials. Sure, maybe you could buy the Bullet home smoothie-making kit and use it a few times, but for the most part, you're just filling a plain old cup with vodka and drinking that.

It's simple. It's what you've been doing your whole life. It's efficient, and at the end of the day, it does the job perfectly. So in a way, technology has indeed changed the way you jerk off -- and maybe even made it feel better, or at least different. But did it improve it? Will it replace it? No it won't.

Masturbatory scientists have been at it for a long time heh. And see their greatest breakthrough yet: Masturbation Cream. No this isn't a lubricant for sex. This is Masturbation Cream.

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[r/AskReddit] Teachers of Reddit, did you ever catch a student masturbating in class?

Orion Pictures "Live with me. Captain Jerk off April 1, playing with my cock. It's efficient, and at the Fleshlight is that it's a one is ever suspicious when. Have our advances in texturized it for a long time. But did it improve it. Or stuff that has happened your cock do it to. After thorough consideration, weighing all depending on how you feel dick side to side or masturbation is still the best. The major downside to the mom or aunt in hopes. I would suck mine all I jerk off at home. The clear upside of the shoot massive loads on her it stud…ready to cum.

Watch Who Can Last The Longest porn videos for free, here on forextradingrev.com Discover the growing Lost Bets Games Jerk off challenge - Climax! Try not to​. No other sex tube is more popular and features more Bet You Can't Last scenes than Bet You Can't Make Me Cum in 5min! Jerk off challenge - Climax! So me and my boyfriend made a bet to see who can go the longest without sex and it's He prefers to jerk off 4 times a week but he's never in the mood for sex.